For Moms Only: My Last Book Giveaway

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Hi there,

My book, The Code: A Simple Story About Raising Great Women will be free for the last time  on Amazon Kindle today . Click here to get a copy.

If you know a mom, stay-at-home or working, who has a daughter,  simply reblog this  post or tell them.

Thanks a lot and have a great week

I have put an excerpt for you below:

“Actually, Kay, in the short time we have this morning, that’s where I want to begin. You and I are coming from completely opposite directions as regards mothering. If we’re going to take this walk together, we need agree on a few things. Parenting girls isn’t a solo effort, it’s a community one. It’s a potpourri of several things, none ready- made and none foolproof. That’s why finding balance is the essence of mothering. It has absolutely no bearing with quitting work. In fact, the success of your mothering will depend on keeping your job. You obviously enjoy what you do at the bank because it affords you some money and a sense of worth… and nothing builds the self-esteem of girls as the one their mum mirrors at them. Am I correct? ”

Kay wasn’t sure if she was or wasn’t, but she cleared her throat and said, “Yes…I think you are.”

Hypatia smiled. “Please don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mum. I think women who stay at home for their children are incredible, but should be happy doing so. It’s not a good thing for children to be mothered by a woman who is constantly feeling, frustrated, depressed and empty. So if working makes you feel fulfilled, by all means work, and mother your girls. And if staying at home fulfils you, by all means, stay at home. There are no wrong or right answers when it comes to being a working or stay-at-home mum. It all boils down to making the choice that brings you closest to fulfilling your hopes and aspirations as a person.”

Kay nodded.

“…All right. I’m going to share my Cryptic Code of Mothering for Working Women with you now.”

Hypatia bent forward slightly and softly spoke three words.

“Build their self-confidence.”

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Why Women Cheat

Wedding rings on a dictionary showing the word infidelity

Betrayal is a riddle we want to solve- Sascha Arango

 

 

It has always bothered me why women cheat when they do.

The typical trappings that men cheat for physical reasons while women do so based on emotional grounds no longer really hold any water. In reality, women also cheat for physical reasons as do men at the whims of their emotions.

Over the past few years, we have seen a steady rise in women taking white collar positions in our society and while this is terrific, a larger part of why more women are cheating have been tied to this one development more than any other factor.

According to statistics, women are 40 per cent more likely to cheat than they were 20 years ago for the following reasons:

Opportunity

These days women are in the work place more; travelling more and are more financially empowered. According to the extra-marital affairs website, Ashley Madison, a spiking 16 per cent of its 27 million strong subscribers are women and the reason they attribute to this demography is in areas like Australia where men and women have income parity meaning more women are willing to jeopardize marriages where they aren’t happy because they can afford to.

Another site, Business Insider found that women who earned $75,000 and over were 150 per cent more likely to cheat than women who earned less if the opportunity presented itself.

 Biology

Women in the workplace tend to have higher testosterone levels because of the high stress demands of work. In women, testosterone is responsible for arousal and clitoral engorgement. So working women may more easily become arousal by that ‘caring’ co-worker they are attracted to in the workplace and if unchecked, may more likely take the plunge into adultery, particularly if they are unhappy at home.

Unhappiness

Unhappiness in a marriage arising out of non-validation from their spouses can make women cheat. Women are crafted from validation. Husbands, they want to be the centre of your world. Tell her how beautiful she is as many times and in as many different ways as practicable—even if it makes no sense to you. Tell her how important and secure you feel with her. Blow her mind with your attention. Women want to be wanted.  And never forget it: an unhappy woman is a ticking time bomb so retrace your steps if you have to.

Trauma

A large number of promiscuous women were traumatized at some point in their lives. And this one explains a lot. What the effect of trauma does, is numb sexual restraint in people who might have been raped or sexually abused, causing hyper-sexuality in some; and the diametric opposite in others. In the case of hyper-sexuality, there is the urge to relive trauma which may cause some women to engage in reckless sex to feel alive. But whatever the case is, consulting with a psychotherapist is the way out of this.

Cheating is something that is a serious problem in our society today, and has ended many marriages. A lot of people do it but the crux for me is learning to forgive and not throwing away a whole family.

Infidelity is injurious, borne out of poor decision-making, but the secret to beating its debilitating effects on family, is working with your spouse to a place of healing and forgiveness so that in the end, like other challenges be it financial or spiritual, people come out on top with sounder families.