If you have anything to hide from your spouse, you both are still single. Yes, marriage happens when the two of you can stand naked before each, without fascades. I mean, no make-up, no hidden passcodes, no secret bank accounts, no ‘Christianese’…just you.
I am peeved by people referring to the one they married as their partner. Marriage is not a partnership. A partnership is an arrangement of two or more individuals to pursue a common purpose. Now many married people are indeed partners. They have come together for the purpose of having guilt-free sex, forging a companionship and raising children. The idea that marriages are partnerships is the very reason why divorce will continue to rise. You see, partnership are dissoluble when the purpose of the partnership becomes doubtful.
Marriage is essentially a union; a fusion of two spirits, two souls and two bodies. It’s not a ‘you and I’ relationship. ‘You and I’ died the day both of you got married. Usages like ‘yours’ and ‘mine’ also ceased to exist the day you said ‘I do’. ‘You’, ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘my’, ‘mine’, ‘yours’ became ‘we, us and ours.
Marriage is a fusion, like Coke and Fanta mixed in a cup. Each flavor savoured together, and none exclusive of the other. Naked and unashamed by how they modify each other. The two are one.
It must therefore be that marriage is a call to transparency; owning the truth that you are your spouse and your spouse is you. In part, yes. Your spouse isn’t complete except with you. It why you must protect, keep and guard your spouse like you would your life.
And if you somehow cannot commit to this level of transparency, then maybe it’s not for you. The very reason why a marriage should never be contracted in a rush.
Many marriages are no marriages at all, just single people playing games. And just in case, you are hiding something or anything from your spouse, I am talking about you. Isn’t it time you truly got married to him or her?
Marriage is transparency.