Every family should have one. Call your family members together and have a core values creation session.
What are those things that keep your family happy? What are those things that keep your family together…that unite you? And lastly, what things threaten your family’s existence?
Maybe lying does? Or disrespectful talk? Or cynical criticism?
Find the central things that bring cohesion to your family. Write them down on a piece of paper and get every member to internalize these things through practice.
If going out together brings you all closer, then practice going out more often. Or if watching a TV show creates an harmonious atmosphere at home make deliberate effort to keep that show in your schedule.
In my experience, prayer is a core value we share in my home. Every morning, my family pray together for ourselves and other concerns we deem important. Prayer offers us a time to bond and keep our goals as a family in front of us. It provides the oil in the wheel of our progress, not just because it is right to pray, but because it fosters our love for each other. You see, we believe -individually and corporately- that our God will not listen to our prayers if we haven’t first forgiven ourselves and each other for any hurts we might have caused or suffered during the day. So prayer brings us together every time.
Now let me ask you: What brings you guys together?
And before I get ahead of myself with the concept of core values, you must understand that values come after you must have had a vision as a family. You guys must have where you are going?
So where are you going? What’s the vision of your family? What is your family about?
In Tony Hsieh’s book, Delivering Happiness, he mentions how creating a culture hinged on certain core values galvanized his company, Zappos into a retail mammoth with over $1 billion in merchandising sales in less than ten years. They reached their vision because of the cohesion that having core values produced.
Forgive me but I think if they work for businesses, then they will work for families too, because success and its factors are parallel.
Core values, written, imbibed and adhered to by each member of your family can change the dynamics of your family. Where do you want to be in ten years from now? It is your core values that will take you there.
So create core values and watch them improve the journey to an outstanding family.
About the Author: Nehi Igbinijesu is a Nigerian trained economist. He has worked at several banks in several positions. In addition to banking, Nehi has been a contributor to Connect Nigeria, anchoring the Discover Nigeria Series, a history project to depict positive elements about being Nigerian. He recently authored book for mothers titled, The Code: A Story About Raising Great Women. He lives with his family in Lagos, Nigeria. You can connect with him on Twitter at; @PNOigbinijesu